2011 is coming to a close. It is at this moment where everyone begins to reflect on the choices and decisions they made over the past 364 days, yet people must (or should) remember that one does not start anew because the calendar says so. Although a new year is starting, you can not forget everything that you learned in 2011, shove it into a box, and throw it into the back side of your closet (like some of you did with your unwanted Christmas presents). With that being said, I will take this time to reflect on my 2011 and make some goals of what I want to accomplish in my 2012.
What happened to me in 2011:
-Competed in Intercollegiate Athletics (NCAA)
The largest difference between High school and Collegiate athletes is the desire to train. In high school, kids come to practice whining and complaining about the workouts or complain about being sore from previous workouts. No matter the situation, there is some sort of complaining going on. In college, I have been exposed to people who want to train to make themselves better. They don't complain, they don't screw around in practice (unless the situation calls for it), and most importantly, collegiate athletes have the mentality to train. They want to make themselves better and to enhance their athletic ability. Yes, I know that there are plenty of high school kids who want to accomplish the same thing. The training to compete in collegiate athletics requires more volume and more intensity, which is another crucial aspect I learned while competing this year. Recovery days aren't walks down to Beaver Pond and screwing around; they are 20-30 minute runs with a quality weight-room session followed afterwards and maybe an ice bath to make sure that any muscle soreness is eliminated so that the next workout will proceed without problems. Based solely off of this year, I can't imagine my life with running. It is my heartbeat, my passion, my sport.
Big Boy School
I came into 2011 with the idea that I was going to teach mathematics at the secondary level (high school). While my desire to become an educator has not diminished, my interest in upper-level Calculus courses has. I am not entirely sure when I switched my mind, but I am glad that I did. At this moment in time, I am a declared Science Education major. Specifically, my degree is titled as a Bachelor of Science in General Science Teaching. My degree, permitting the passing of all my WEST-E exams, will certify me to teach science-based courses in middle/high schools with an emphasis in any desired area I want (At the moment I am working on my Chemistry endorsement, but I may pursue an additional endorsement in Biology as well). If this quarter goes to plan, I will be at junior standing by the end of winter quarter, which lets me sign up for classes earlier than my fellow 2010 graduates. This winter quarter has a lot of tough academic challenges I have to face. I am taking Organic AND Inorganic chemistry, (Can you say mind f***???) as well as Intro Geology and Biology courses. Not to mention, I am starting my pre-req's for the Education program as well, taking one class this quarter and testing out of one other. I wonder how differently my life would be if I was still pursuing Math; I can tell you one thing, it would suck!!!
I GOT JOBS!!!
One notable difference between last year and this year was my occupational status. Prior to this summer, I had never held a job. I had always relied on my Mom for money, yet I have never been in a position where I felt financially unstable because she would always put money on my debit card if need be (which also happened this year, me getting a debit card). At the start of the summer, I had applied at Dick's Sporting Goods and after being home from school for a month, I had my first day of work on July 12th (I think... I can't remember the exact date hahaha). Although I was only there for a month and a half, I learned the ropes of selling shoes and how to carry six pairs of shoes in one hand (yeah... that's talent!) When I went to school, I immediately jumped into another job working as a food-prep for our dining hall. My official title was a "Slicer," which made much more sense when I discovered that my sole job, for the three hours I worked every weekday, was to slice the deli meat and cheese that would be used for the wraps and sandwiches. The job itself was not difficult, yet the constant 6:15 alarm five days a week, on top of classes and practice, took its toll very quickly. After just one month of working there, I decided that enough was enough and quit my job. Then one day while I was visiting my friend Jacob at his work, (the Information Center) I saw a poster asking for tutors and five minutes later, I had myself an appointment with the Tutoring Services to receive an application. I have loved tutoring so far and would not trade it for anything! The hours are flexible, the pay is nice, and it is not stressful because it is something that I am passionate for.
There's this girl...
I have never had trouble beginning an essay, or formulating ideas for a paper, but when someone asks me "Describe your girlfriend," it's hard because she is indescribable. I had no idea that I would be with her for this long (currently going on a year and a half). Looking back though, I can't imagine my life without her because she has not only become this girl who I love more than almost anything (The pyramid haha), she has become one of my best friends. She knows me inside and out, can read me like a book and, in my eyes, is perfect. She has helped me with a lot of things over this past year, both academically and emotionally. If I am seen as a runner, she should be seen as my training shoes because not only does she provide me comfort and support, she is always with me no matter where I go.
Realization of Myself
I know that everyone's goal in life is to figure out what their purpose is in life, after all, isn't that why we are here? Looking at this ideal from a biological perspective, we are here to pass on our genes to attractive/suitable females in order to promote offspring. Others would argue that God brought us here to follow in his teachings and to spread the word of God to others. That would be cool.... if there was a God. There, I said it.. I don't believe that there is a God. When I first told my girlfriend this, she was a little shocked, but I knew that should would understand. To me, God seems like a fairy-tale, similar to Santa Claus. While everyone knows there is no such thing as Santa Claus, people tell others (mainly little kids) that Santa exists to promote the joyfulness of the holidays. Being a Science major, I know how the world works. First of all, one cannot give birth without sexual intercourse; so the whole "Virgin Mary" does not make sense to me. Secondly, how can one "person" make a planet? Planets are made from protostar's forming and collecting dust particles and eventually forming protoplanets. Thirdly, how can your spirit travel to Heaven? That, in itself, leads to the other question, where is Heaven? Where is Hell? To me, it seems illogical, but for the 1/3 of the world, the idea of God makes sense.
Suicide
I saved this for last because I think that this topic has greatly affected my life the most this past year. On September 14th, my Mom was driving to my school to bring me the rest of my stuff for my room. When she arrived there, (two hours late) we quickly unloaded all of my things and she then she told me "Something is wrong at home." Those words still haunt me with thoughts of sadness and confusion. My stepdad thought that he wasn't good to us, to our family, and decided to end his life. He wasn't happy with himself and eventually, the burden became to much too handle. I spent the following two and a half weeks at home, trying to figure out the why, but I figured it was meaningless because we can never really know; we can only play the "What if..." game, and no one likes playing that game. I wonder if he thought about how his irrational decision would effect our lives. I can tell you one certain thing, our lives are now changed FOREVER because of it. I wonder what we did (My mom, sister, brother, myself, his daughter, his family, etc) to make him push himself to kill himself. My Mom told me to go to counseling at school because of it, which is where I first thought about the existence of God. She has been going to group counseling as well, which I think has helped her with the loneliness of being in a five-bedroom house by yourself.
"Life is like a box of chocolates; ya never know what you're gonna get"
This quote has been the story of my year. Everyday brings something new and the mystery of each day should be celebrated, not feared.
So now... Here are my goals for the 2012 year!!!
- Get back into shape. I am running a half-marathon in June and I want to be in 1:25 shape.
- Work on my academics. I need to raise my GPA
- Keep the girl ;)
- Prepare for adulthood. Turn 21 in August!
- Love life
- Live life
